About a year ago, I started getting calls from parents seeking divorce information for their adult children. At first I didn’t think much about their inquiries. Then, I realized I was not interacting with a normal, concerned parent. Instead, I was witnessing a dreaded twosome — the boundary-less, overbearing helicopter parents and their notorious, coddled adult trophy children.
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When it comes to divorce, the acronym GPS stands for General Perceived Standards. This is the way most people think they should go about getting a divorce — each spouse hires an attorney, the attorneys litigate about everything, and both people fight to win. Naturally, that means there is always a loser.
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I share a waiting room with other businesses in the building. Because of this, periodically I see former divorce mediation clients sitting there. When I walked past today I saw Tony, a (really handsome) fireman waiting to see his therapist. He looked unusually sad so I asked him how things were going with his custody battle. Learn what this parent did and what you can do if you are concerned about the custody of your children.
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Scarlett Johansson recently commented about her divorce to Ryan Reynolds, saying that she wasn’t prepared “to hunker down and do the work” necessary to keep her marriage together. Once a relationship moves past the butterfly stage (about two years) and into the less exciting and more routine stage, you and your partner need to be more deliberate about keeping your relationship on track.
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A few years ago I found myself in a sort of professional Ménage à trois with Dick, a divorce attorney and his client, Deborah, a soon-to-be divorcée. I was her divorce planner as well as the one who referred her to Dick. The relationship was anything but sexy.
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I like to refer to Halloween as the relationship fortune telling holiday. You don’t need a crystal ball to see how your relationship will fare in the new year. Instead, the foreboding signs that divorce is coming will play out in the details of the spooky holiday. You just have to know what to look for.
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Last week a clown walked into my office, decked out in a creepy clown costume, a painted smile and tearfully asked, “My wife and I are already divorced. Is there something I can do to get her the hell out of my life?” The problem was simple — his marital relationship continued because the marital cord had not been cut. The solution was also simple — stop behaving in the role of husband.
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Man, Woman, Wild is a nature survival series on the Discovery Channel. I started watching the show mid-season last year and got hooked. The show centers around a loving couple–Mykel Hawke, a former Special Forces survival expert and his wife Ruth, a TV journalist. Together they pool their skills to conquer the obstacles as they make their way to safety.
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When people come to me for divorce advice, the first thing I ask is why they want out. Typically they tell me, “I can’t take her nagging any more.” “He’s a cheater; I’m done!” The explanations indicate a belief that once they leave the marriage, life will improve drastically. This type of thinking is not only unrealistic, it’s based in pure fantasy.
Worksheet: Sabotage The Divorce Fantasy
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A marriage isn’t the only thing that gets torn apart in a divorce, so do friendships. When you officially declare that your marriage is over, some friends not only react out of character (not returning calls), but sometimes disappear from your life without as much as a goodbye.
Unlike a divorce, the typical rule of dividing assets 50/50 does not apply to friendships. Instead, the point of demarcation operates from any number of factors, none of which are based on “fairness. Should divorce enter your life, use the following 5 predictors to know which friends will probably bid you adieu.